A lifestyle piece from The Ghana Report offers 23 sarcastic comebacks for single people tired of explaining themselves at family gatherings.
If you are single and you have attended a wedding, a funeral, an outdooring or a Christmas family gathering lately, you probably know the question already: "So, why are you still single?"
A lifestyle article published by The Ghana Report takes on that question with a list of 23 sarcastic replies aimed at people who ask it. The piece is not advice on how to find a partner. It is about how to shut down the questioning politely, or not so politely.
The argument behind the list
The writer's position is simple: your relationship status is nobody else's business, and single people should not have to keep justifying it to curious relatives, colleagues and friends. The suggested responses are described as deliberately cheeky, designed to catch the questioner off guard rather than to start a serious conversation.
The article closes by daring readers to try one of the lines the next time someone pries.
The kinds of answers suggested
The replies fall into a few groups.
Some are jokes about food and comfort. One suggests telling people you have not yet met anyone who can accept your devotion to pizza. Another points out that when your favourite meal can be delivered to your bed, the pressure to pair up drops.
Some lean on celebrity culture. The list includes saying you are waiting for the actor Ryan Gosling, or that nothing can work out because Channing Tatum is already married, or that you are only single until you are cast on the American reality dating show The Bachelor.
Some are straight insults dressed as humour, including telling the person you simply have higher standards than they do, or claiming their mother turned you down. The writer is clear that these are for people whose company you do not mind losing.
Others rely on pure performance. One option is to point angrily at a random person in the room, demand that the questioner ask them instead, and walk off. Another is to hug an invisible partner and ask why the person cannot see them. There is also the option of bursting into tears, or holding a blank, unsmiling face until the questioner gives up and leaves.
And for anyone who wants an easier exit, there is the cat. Mention your cat, then keep talking about your cat, and time how fast the conversation dies.
Why it travels
The pressure the article describes will be familiar to many Ghanaians at home and in the diaspora, where phone calls from family often come with questions about marriage plans. The piece does not pretend to solve that. It simply argues that "no one has the right to pry into your love life", and offers a few ways to say so with a smile.
Reported first by The Ghana Report on 2026-09-17. This article was written for our readers based on that report. Follow the link for the original coverage.
